Fantasy Island is a horror movie remake of a 1977 television show that was revived in 1998 and only lasted one season. Those shows were far more interesting than this film ever could be. With its lazy plot, non-likable characters and lazy writing, it took seconds from my life that I will never get back.
Fantasy Island (2020) revolves around a group of strangers who entered a contest that promised to play out their most desired fantasies. They then soon realize that everything they ever wanted starts becoming real and turning evil and must find a way to escape the island.
The cast sucks. Micheal Pena is the only slightly interesting one and he looks like he checked out five minutes into filming. Lucy Hale attempts to play this really damaged girl who wants revenge only to try to repent. Yet every time she talks, it comes off as her thinking this is a comedy and brings any moment into this stale, awkward mess that lasts too long. The cop character, Austin Stonewall, honestly speaks every line the same possible way and is the worst acted by far. How they dragged poor Michael Rooker into this, I’ll never know. Maybe he needed to pay off a mortgage.
And the movie’s not even so bad that it’s good. Its pacing is so sporadic that almost every scene is given another plot point to add that by the halfway mark, there are nine plot holes going and only one is interesting. The whole film revolves around this concept of fantasies and what would happen if they came true. However, they only give one ark an interesting spin to it, and they give it to the worst actor, Austin Stonewall.
The comedy itself never works and just leaves these weird empty moments where it pauses to wait for the audience to finish laughing, except the issue is that no one’s laughing. The worst part is that it’s boring. It goes so predictably that the last “plot twist” had me just roll my eyes and check my watch for the 15th time in a hope that it can just end. I just left while the last joke was panning out.
Fantasy Island is only a nightmare due to its stale performances, terrible writing, and poor comedy. If there is one thing I can say about this movie it’s to watch the first show. It’s 70’s cheese but it’s handled well.