Point your fingers at those responsible, not at concepts: Bad parenting is killing children with inherited ignorance

Mike Davies, Editor-in-Chief  Ω

It always saddens me to hear that a young person has taken his or her own life.

But for some reason it always makes me less sad than angry.

I decided to explore why that is — why sorrow isn’t the primary emotion I feel when I hear that another child has taken their own life, and anger fills me instead.

I think maybe it’s because when I hear that a child couldn’t take any more taunting, harassment, physical or emotional attacks or other form of abuse, the blame is always misplaced.

We blame a concept.

“Bullying” is to blame for this, we say.

But for some reason we don’t go back further and explore why the bullying is happening in the first place.

Instead we shake our fists in the air and cry, “stop the bullying!” and mourn the loss of another child.

The bullying is happening because people are raising shitty children. And these shitty children are killing their peers with hate and ignorance that they receive directly from (or at the very least are not dissuaded from by) their parents.

We cry “stop the bullying!” and point our fingers at the kids. What we should be crying is “stop raising shitty people!” and pointing our fingers at those children’s role models and teachers.

And I’m not talking about the teachers in the school system that people rely on to raise their children because they can’t be bothered.

And I’m not talking about the teachers we supply our children with when we prop them up in front of the television, or plug them in to a video game that we then look at and complain about because it’s teaching our kids violence — or whatever we’re blaming technology for nowadays.

And I’m not talking about these so-called “role models” that we put on pedestals for a while and then complain about when they don’t live up to our expectations for them, like athletes and spoiled-ass celebrities.

I’m talking about the people that are supposed to be children’s teachers and role models.

The people who brought them into the world and are supposed to be responsible for them.

I think next time I hear of a child who killed themselves because they couldn’t take living in a world that would treat them so badly, I’ll make a concerted effort to feel sad instead of angry.

But if I’m successful it will be because I’ve managed to feel sorry for the children who were treating the deceased with such disregard that they killed them inside long before their death.

I’ll feel sorry for them because it’s not their fault that they’re shitty people, really. It’s because no one held their parents accountable for sucking at their most important job in life. Heck, maybe it’s because no one held their parents’ parents responsible for being shitty people. Who knows how far back the ignorance began?

I don’t like being angry.

Maybe disappointed in humanity will feel better.

Somehow I don’t think I’ll manage it, but I think I’ll give it a try.


Here’s the lead of a story from the Vancouver Sun this past week:

“A youth who videotaped a teenager’s sexual assault at a Pitt Meadows rave was sentenced to 12 months’ probation in Port Coquitlam Provincial Court Friday.”
Yes. You can videotape a gang rape at a party and your punishment is “you can’t do anything bad for a year, okay?”
Oh, but that’s not all!  He also has to write a 1,500 word essay on reputation and integrity, which concludes with an apology to the victim.
What do his parents have to do as punishment for raising a child who not only stands by while a girl gets gang raped, but also videotapes it and shares it with people?
I guess they have to try to make sure he doesn’t do anything within that year that he could get punished for.
I can’t even imagine how you rear someone to think that it’s okay to do this.
I’m listening to anyone who thinks they have an answer, though.


One Response

  1. thewhitetigress Feb. 16, 2012