The Big Lebowski: I can’t believe you’ve never seen this film

Mike Davies, Editor-in-Chief  Ω

The Big Lebowski is one of my favourite movies ever.

And it has been for quite some time.

It’s not newsworthy or pertinent to anything going on in the world right now — except maybe that most of the characters are in the 99 per cent and one is not, but that doesn’t have anything to do with why I’m writing this.

I just felt like I should share with those of you who do not know this cinematic masterpiece just what you are missing.

If you’ve never seen this film you likely have never seen two overweight, underfinanced (or underprivileged if you’d rather) people argue with a funeral home operator about the cost of an urn — and then substitute a coffee can for the funeral home’s “most modestly priced receptacle.”

You’ve probably never seen a wealthy older gentlemen thrown from his wheelchair by a deranged and sociologically confused war veteran and laughed while you were watching it happen.

You’ve likely never seen Flea — the bass player from the Red Hot Chilli Peppers — get in an awkward fight outside a bowling alley while trying to extort money from a group of lower-middle-class Californians who care more about the line up for the regional bowling tournament than they do about their personal hygiene.

And you’ve probably never seen someone who prefers to be referred to as “The Dude” sniff a jug of half-and-half in the store before writing a personal cheque for 69 cents for that litre of dairy to go home and make his white Russians and be accosted in his own shitty apartment by incompetent debt collectors who “peed on the dude’s rug.”

“Donnie, you’re out of your element.”

This film has so many amazing scenes — which is sort of the norm for the Cohen Brothers (and if you don’t know who they are, you’re beyond any help that might come your way from a newspaper review, and you should look into decent filmmakers) — that I can’t even touch on most of the ones that you should, and will, laugh at.

“You brought a fuckin’ Pomeranian bowling?”

“What do you mean ‘brought it bowling?’ I didn’t rent it shoes. I’m not buying it a fucking beer, he’s not taking your fucking turn, dude.”

Okay, I’m just going to keep giving away awesome lines and plot points in the movie if I keep going, so what I am going to leave you with is this:

After seeing this movie, maybe you can feel how the narrator feels in the opening voice-over when he says that since he knows the story that’s about to unfold, “I can die with a smile on my face, without feeling like the good Lord gypped me.”