Coleman Molnar: Editor-In-Chief Ω
Thompson Rivers University has announced that Wally Oppal will replace Nancy Greene Raine as chancellor of the university.
First question for you Wally: how many Olymipic medals have you won?
A native British Columbian, Oppal has served as a lawyer, a judge and a provincial politician. He was once the Attorney General of B.C. and is currently the commissioner of the missing women commission of inquiry.
An editorial published by The Kamloops Daily News suggests that he may not be the best man for the job, as he “has no connection to TRU or to Kamloops.”
Well, he does now.
In defence of our new chancellor, I’ve composed this list of reasons why Wally Oppal is going to be great at his position:
1) His name is very fun to say. Wally Oppal. What a balanced, solid sounding name. Wally Oppal—just kind of rolls off the tongue.
2) He was once the MLA for Vancouver-Fraserview—a position that was taken over by Kash Heed—so he obviously knows how to party. We usually get down Thursday nights here on campus, Wally. See you at Heroes?
3) He is big on multiculturalism and was the minister responsible for multiculturalism from 2005 to 2009—this is perfect for a school as culturally diverse as TRU. You just missed International Days this year, Wally—you would’ve loved all the colours!
4) He has a Wikipedia page. And it’s almost as long as Nancy Greene’s. I know, Wally, they are very big ski boots to fill.
5) In his teens, he had a professional baseball tryout. Have you used all of your eligibility, Wally? I heard the ‘Pack needs a new shortstop.
6) When asked how he felt about his appointment to the position, he said, “I am deeply honoured to have been selected—I know of no other post-secondary institution in B.C. that is more innovative and creative in meeting the diverse needs of our province in the 21st Century.” Oh Wally, stop. You’re making us blush.
7) He has extensive experience in the field of law and TRU will open its law school this year. On that note, Wally, a quick law question for you: it’s not libellous if it’s funny, right?
8) Lastly, the chancellor doesn’t really have to do anything. The position only requires he attend some dinners and convocations, make some speeches and wave like the queen of England. We could’ve appointed our beloved mascot, Wolfie the WolfPack wolf to do the job and it wouldn’t have changed a thing.
Oppal will officially accept the position on June 8 before convocation.
All jokes aside, Wally, we are honoured to have you as chancellor of our university and believe you are a great candidate to represent our school.
We all look forward to meeting you very soon.