Movie review: The Girl in the Spider’s Web

Newest film in the Millennium series a major disappointment

There are movies that work because their quality is either so good or terrible that it’s entertaining. There are films that don’t work but are given grace because it shows that the people in it were doing their best. The Girl in the Spider’s Web commits the cardinal sin of no one caring about the project, as such it doesn’t work because of this.

The Girl in the Spider’s Web plot is fully given- and I do mean FULLY given – in the trailer where a woman is hunting a group attempting to gather a program that could lead to ultimate destruction and how her personal life crosses into that. Let it be clear that that outline of this movie has had more effort put into not spoiling anything than the film’s own marketing campaign.

To give this movie context, this film is a sequel to 2011’s The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, yet it will never really hold any relevance due to the director’s choice of using an entirely new cast in an attempt to re-invent the series. This leaves the audience with a feeling of confusion throughout the film and justly so, where it holds no relevance towards the series’ main plot. So anyone who goes in wondering if they’ll miss everything that came before won’t have to worry as the film shows so little effort, it’ll never take the time to explain that.

The film does, however, have a cool protagonist. I want to be objective here and look at what this film did right, but unfortunately it has so little that this is the one part about it that was decent. The main character is super tough (to the point of being unbelievable) and is interesting in her motives and her theme, which does help this film’s cause.

Now, when motion pictures don’t care, it can be shown in three easy ways.

Firstly, the shots all look the same to the point where it can make a country look like a small town, giving no scope.

Secondly, most, if not all actors aren’t putting in an effort, having every line feel as if it didn’t have any importance.

Finally, the writing is bad, in the way that it feels like the film is showcasing the reading a grocery list.

This film does all of this and more, leading to many points where even the cheesiest of lines have no life in them, making a viewer want to leave for more than they should.

Touching on the plot in full, it has a sense of being a James Bond film, especially GoldenEye, yet there is no charisma. The best action scenes are shown in the trailer, the best plot-twists are shown in the trailer, even the best lines that made the film seem interesting were shown in the trailer and taken out of the film.

Honestly, if someone had heard about this film and had even the slightest interest of checking it out, the only recommendation that I could give anyone is to watch the first film, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, then watch the trailer. You’ll save both $11.50 and a night in the process.

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